Introspection

“Tell me about yourself”, is the toughest question everyone will face in their interview. I am not sure about everyone but at least in my case it is the toughest question I have ever faced. In fact this is the question I answered perfectly, thanks to the websites on how to face an interview. I prepared a long list of qualities beforehand which I mugged up just to read out the list when this question is posed at me with a perfect smile and eye contact.

Today when I sat to complete my profile on my blog, once again I had the same question, ABOUT YOU. Before the long list popped up in my mind, I thought of making a sincere attempt to know myself, and this is what I got.

I am a person who wants to live my life, not to lead my life. Very small things like an evening walk, lovely music and weekend get together with the closest ones makes me happy. Talking to my parents is the thing I like most.

I am fond of relationships. I like it when all my relatives get together. I want people to listen to me when I go on talking. You are mistaken if u think I am a chatter box. Hardly any word comes out my mouth. But I like to speak a lot when my closest ones listen even tough what I say doesn’t make any sense. Broken relations always hurts me.

Though I am very fond of relations, I am very choosy with the friends. I don’t connect with people quickly. It always takes time for me to make friends. But all my friends are the closest ones to my heart.

I love music. In fact it’s some particular songs that I am very fond of, not music as a whole. If someone tries to talk about music, that’s complete Greek and Latin to me. So it’s better to say I like some songs rather than saying music on the whole.

I am a person of variety of thoughts and one who tries to be different all the time. I like taking challenges and routine work bores me. Confidence levels are always a drawback to me, as I always had very poor confidence levels. I am the laziest I have ever known but when I like some thing from heart nothing can stop me from doing it, not even my laziness.

I have the habit of trying to know everything from the grass root level. This is my strength and also my weakness as I don’t discriminate between where an in depth study is needed and where it isn’t needed.

Cricket has always been my favourite game. I don’t like watching cricket as much as I like playing it. Badminton is the other game I like the most. I like flexing my muscles by playing rather than storing fat for a future stroke.

I have the fantasy to see a world that is free of hatred, jealousy and all other evils, which isn’t possible and to feel and fly like a bird looking at the world below in a different view, which I cant do. Don’t ask me if I haven’t boarded a flight ever, I meant to say that I wanted to fly exactly like a bird.

If I keep on writing I think I can write a book, after all ones life is his own autobiography. But I limit it to this post for now. I think I should have taken some time to know myself a bit earlier.

TAKE TIME TO KNOW YOURSELF.

Diaries

I always had this habit of starting something, leaving it in the middle and starting all over again. My blog is not an exception to this. So, here I come back to start my blog again.

In fact I had this habit from my childhood. It was in my elementary school I started putting my thoughts into words. I used to pen my thoughts in a diary my dad gave me on a New Year day.

It was a lesson in my 4th or 5th standard that made me to start my diary. As I had the habit of taking no time in starting anything I liked, I started writing my diary. I used to write my dairy before I go to bed. It was all about my daily routines. I use to write down everything I did from waking up in the morning till I go to bed. It was mostly about the school and I had nothing more to write about. It was almost the same everyday and every page of my diary looked the same. This went on for a while before I got bored to see myself writing the same thing over and over again everyday. In fact at that age I don’t know what to write exactly.

It was loneliness that brought me back to my dairy, after all diary is ones best friend for anyone. My thoughts used to run as words when I placed pen on my dairy. This was in my teenage. When my intermediate college became a jail, my diary became my friend. I think jail is the best place to write as history proves many books were written when their authors were in jail. I compare my college to jail as it is terrible as jail, students have no freedom there. we are treated as prisoners. There we missed our family a lot we wanted to talk them, be with them. Having no other option I went back to my friend, MY DIARY.

I used to write all my thoughts into my diary. This was bit different from the one I have written in the past. This was mixed with my feelings rather than my daily routine. It had all my happiness, all my sorrows, all my fun and my ideas. Of course it also had details of some teenage ‘achievements’. It completely reflected me. I felt very relaxed when I go through my writings anytime later. As I was released from the jail after I finished my intermediate, I rediscovered my freedom which made me forget my friend and I always regret that.

Now I came back to my diary again, not because I am feeling lonely. But I feel that I should put all my thoughts together, so that I can feel my heart lighter when I come back to read these some other day.

If only

What a movie to watch!

My friend was telling me about this movie. I felt that he was bit exaggerating when he was telling me about the movie. I decided to watch it and to judge the movie on my own. As soon as I was back from my work I watched the movie, now, I can only say “Wow what a movie!”

“We cant change our fortune, we can only change our choices” Samantha says to Yen. Yen won’t agree with that. He is workaholic and he always tries to make good fortune. He don’t have time for love. The movie is all about how he learns to love and be loved.

I was so emotional when I watched the movie that I almost burst out in tears. I learnt that it’s the change of choices makes you see life in a different way as Yen saw love differently when he was made to change his choices.

May your soul rest in peace

My Dear Hemanth

I know these are your last hours but i cant help. i know i was not of much help to you earlier as well. i am not a great friend of yours. we never shared our thoughts. we never missed each other. I am a friend of yours but i know, i am not a friend in your heart. Still i want to say " I MISS U".

I was not able to control my tears when i saw you on the hospital bed. It was so painful to see you that way. I always remeber you laughing. I wont be able to see those laughs hereafter. Now i miss ur presence. I realise your value now, when you are on death bed.

I know praying for your life is useless. so i pray for your soul. i have started blogging today and i dedicate this blog to you.

May your soul rest in peace

Sandeep